Weekends, midweeks and full weeks available! Steps to Beach, town and ferries! | House in Bay Shore
7 Bedroom House in Kismet, Bay Shore
THE MOST AGGRESSIVELY HONEST VACATION RENTAL AD YOU’LL EVER READ
(If you're soft, keep scrolling. This ain't for you.)
Let’s get this out of the way real quick so we can separate the adults from the “technically-legal-but-emotionally-5-years-old” crowd:
If you’re not at least 24 years old or traveling with your family, don’t even breathe in the direction of my inbox.
This isn’t up for debate. It’s not “flexible.” I don’t care if you’re mature for your age or once owned a goldfish.
You. Ain’t. Booking. It.
End of story.
FOR THOSE WHO CAN PROCESS BASIC INFORMATION: HERE'S HOW YOU RENT IT
You’ve got 3 options. That’s it. No, I don’t do custom times. No, I won’t “see if I can make an exception.” Pay attention:
FULL WEEK:
Friday 5 PM → Friday 10 AM
OR Monday 2 PM → Monday 10 AM
WEEKEND GETAWAY:
Friday 5 PM → Monday 10 AM
(Yeah, that’s 3 nights — not rocket science)
MIDWEEK STAY:
Monday 2 PM → Friday 10 AM
(The grown-up option for people who hate crowds and screaming toddlers)
If those dates don’t work for you, you don’t work for me. Move along.
WHAT YOU’RE RENTING: A DAMN FORTRESS OF COMFORT
You want space? You got it. You want amenities? We’re practically showing off.
2 Full Bathrooms – no fighting for the shower
Central AC – because this isn’t a third-world sweat lodge
Wi-Fi – fast enough to stream, scroll, and ignore your family
2 SMART TVs – with more features than you know how to use
2 Washer/Dryers – so you’re not walking around smelling like a bonfire and regret
The Kitchen:
Massive Fridge
Dishwasher
Microwave
Toaster
Blender
Coffee Maker
Other stuff you probably won’t know how to use but will brag about anyway
7 BEDROOMS – NOT A TYPO. SEVEN.
4 Downstairs, 3 Upstairs
All with 12” memory foam mattresses – you’ll sleep like a sedated bear
Most have 1 Full + 1 Twin
One room’s got 3 Twins
Two rooms come with 2 Fulls each – perfect for cramming in cousins, kids, or in-laws you don’t like
Bonus Round:
Upstairs Den + Bar Area
Extra fridge
Sink
Adult sanctuary for when the downstairs turns into a zoo
WANT TO SAVE MONEY? BOOK OFF-SEASON.
If you’re not looking to rent during peak “screaming kids, crowded beaches, and everyone’s mad” season — you’ll get a solid discount.
But don’t lowball me like this is a Facebook yard sale. This house ain’t cheap, and neither is peace and quiet.
FINAL NOTE FOR THE HARD OF THINKING:
If you skimmed this and still ask dumb questions like:
“Can I check in Tuesday?”
“Is 19 okay if I’m really responsible?”
“How far to the beach?”
You will be ignored, blocked, and possibly mocked in a group chat.
SUMMARY FOR THE ATTENTION-DEFICIENT:
Don’t message me unless you’re over 24 or with family
Stick to the schedule listed
Read the whole damn ad
Act like an adult
Respect the space
Book it if you’re serious
If all that sounds good?
You’re about to have the best damn stay of your life.
If not?
There’s a Motel 6 with your name on it.
Weekends, midweeks and full weeks available! Steps to Beach, town and ferries! is located in Kismet. Weekends, midweeks and full weeks available! Steps to Beach, town and ferries! provides accommodation, featuring Internet, Kitchen, Security/Safety, among other amenities. This House features Internet, Kitchen, Security/Safety, to make your stay a comfortable one.
Weekends, midweeks and full weeks available! Steps to Beach, town and ferries! has 7 Bedrooms , 2 Bathrooms, and max occupancy of 24 people. The minimum rental for this property is 1 nights, but this can change depending on the season you plan on staying. Previous guests have given good rated it, and VRBO labeled it a top-rated House because of the excellent services rendered by the owner or manager of this House, and has consistently provided great experiences for their guests. Most families or guests that use it recommend it to their friends and some of them are repeat guests. House has a friendly neighborhood, and the Kismet has interesting places to visit. If you want to learn more about the House in Kismet, such as places to visit and things to do nearby, you can check below to learn more.
This Property is OneKey Eligible
Earn OneKeyCash for every dollar spent on eligible vacation rentals, villas, cottages, cabins, and more when you book on Vrbo.
Amenities
Facility Overview
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Heating
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Air conditioning
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2 bathrooms
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Towels provided
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Bathtub or shower
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Bed sheets provided
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7 bedrooms
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Living room
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Spices
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Dishwasher
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Refrigerator
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Toaster
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Microwave
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Blender
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Oven
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Coffee/tea maker
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Stovetop
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Laundry facilities
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Washing machine and dryer
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Near the beach
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Car not required
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No pets allowed
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Smoke-free property
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Scuba diving nearby
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Kayaking nearby
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Tennis on site
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Water skiing nearby
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Fishing nearby
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Surfing/body boarding nearby
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Birdwatching nearby
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Bicycle on site
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Swimming nearby
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Marina nearby
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Snorkeling nearby
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Smart TV
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Unit size: 2375 sq ft (221 sq m)
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English
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Near the sea
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Highchair
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Free WiFi
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Balcony
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Barbecue grill
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Carbon monoxide detector not reported (host has not indicated whether there is a carbon monoxide detector on the property; consider bringing a portable detector)
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Smoke detector not reported (host has not indicated whether there is a smoke detector on the property)
Policies
Extra-person charges may apply and vary depending on property policy government-issued photo identification and a credit card, debit card, or cash deposit may be required at check-in for incidental charges host has not indicated whether there is a carbon monoxide detector on the property; consider bringing a portable detector with you on the trip host has not indicated whether there is a smoke detector on the property onsite parties or group events are strictly prohibited special requests are subject to availability upon check-in and may incur additional charges; special requests cannot be guaranteed this property has outdoor spaces, such as balconies, patios, terraces which may not be suitable for children; if you have concerns, we recommend contacting the property prior to your arrival to confirm they can accommodate you in a suitable room this property is managed through our partner, vrbo. you will receive an email from vrbo with a link to a vrbo account, where you can change or cancel your reservation
Reviews
